Walk

I am so much stronger than you ever could have imagined
I have done so much more than you ever said I could
And I know that we will find each other down the road
But for now I'm walking alone

9:12

I have options
And somehow that's what bothers me

Above the universe

We are knotted and wrapped
flying through the waves
as if thrown
Rocking on the air's solid stream
in gorgeous chaotic anger

Our bodies have become colors
morphing one into the other
blue into gold into red
Each one accompanied by a shivering cry
a whispered sigh, an ecstasied head rush

We are above our bodies

watching the drumming rhythm from the sky
watching our skins dance, empty of souls
pouring out eternity within moments
a pool of everything else below us
only keeping the necessary particles and energy

Time is irrelevant, time doesn't exist
we are in all things for a second and a lifetime
Our insides have separated, oil and water
a triangle of importance
our bodies at the bottom, our souls at the top

We can watch without our eyes
the past, present and future all in unison
and there is really no difference
we are only just the end and the beginning
of everything else in the worlds chain

because all that is real is right now
at the top of the heap making love
above the entire world, above the universe
In a white space, bodyless, without oxygen
fire or water and still mixed within everything

Abortion

It's night

Your hair is matted in blood
My body is twisted in a knot

The redness is dragging me down
Into the ice pit

I can't move or the probe won't kill the fetus

and the mattress is soaked
and you seem half human and half fish

I hear your nails scratching, chewing metal,
the fosset dripping

I need distraction

I hear my blood, I hear the coal fire inside of me
I hear your acid death baby

and the pill bottle's empty

Thudding, hissing, a red mist in the air
are you suffocating or are you drowning?

Roots to the sky

Come here little one, come feel this breeze
I know the trees seem rooted to the ground
but come stand underneath
and look! We're upside down
And are the trees not rooted in the sky?
No need to stand beside the oak to feel small
just look up, look up little one
See what's up above us
Come and feel the breeze, beneath the trees,
in the shade of our private green canopy
See the way the branches shiver
The fall is coming darling, don't worry when fall comes
we will stand against the burning trees
When our canopy bursts into flames the ashes will fall and fall
but we will stand little one, against all of this
Come on little one,
 let us watch the change and forget how small we are
We control the seasons! Push the breeze, light the trees
Make it bare little one. Roots to the sky

I'd like some quiet

I'd like some quiet!
My head is screaming, trying to tell me everything. Well, go away!
Does each thought have to destroy me?
tearing pieces out of me day and night?

I can't see anymore.
I've had to take out my eyes
They wouldn't leave me alone
They refused to stop replaying all the things around me

Now my eyes have crawled into my skull
where I can't reach them
They play a constant movie
of all the nightmares that were realities

Please, I'm digging through my skin
I'm carving through my flesh
Trying to find the stop, the end to all of this
Oh, all of these goddamn memories!

I'm in an endless dream

I've let the snakes in
I put them in my eyes, my nose, my mouth,  my ears
I feel them pushing through the tiny holes,
searching for good qualities

They've split parts open, my neck is burst
A red half moon with snakes slithering through
I hear them chewing away and I see the back of my skull
playing all the time the time you hit me

Leave me! My body is engulfed in fire
The snakes dance in the redness
I can see myself from far away
Laying there, skin bubbling, melting and no eyes, split open and disappearing

But oh if I go inside my body I just see memories,
feel all the realities of the past and the fire can't distract me
Please finish it, make me ashes, no view of what happened
I want blackness

I want pain in the moment, all the bad men to disappear into nothing
Let the snakes tear me apart, let the fire destroy me, put me into this moment
so I can scream,
God, kill me!