A sociopath pretending

 I am pretty high right now. 

I attach myself to whatever I can like a hook, a parasite.

I can love anything with my whole heart

and want it destroyed all at once.

I can say you are my world and I would die without you.

Then say the same thing to nearly anyone else.

Maybe I have no heart.

Maybe I am a sociopath pretending,

an actor in my own reality

telling myself I feel things more than anyone else

and feeling absolutely nothing.

I can suck my heart into my throat and scream

in the worst of agony 

that my mind creates for me.

I can tell myself I love you more than my own flesh

then tear myself apart.

I feel like a penny,

I feel like your ex fiancé’s gutter ring,

I feel like the dust on your windshield

trying to cling to a piece of you

and meaning nothing

I can pity myself the holocaust.

I can cry out as though I’ve burned,

I can say you ruined my everything and left me-

a guttered ring, a coin, dust-

but I don’t feel a thing.