they took you

The night before they took you away from me
we stayed up until 3am
A continuing succession of cigarettes
blowing smoke through the screens in windows

We ate handfuls of dried cranberries
and drank a bottle of whiskey

You were the good kind of drunk.
The kind for kisses instead of punches
The kind where you act like a cat to make me laugh
and tell me we will get through this

We watched two episodes of Sherlock.
Then laughed instead of crying.

We made up codes for secret phone calls
We picked out baby names and gave eachother pep talks
We investigated a loud noise outside
and made impossible-to-keep-promises

 We refused to let it take us.
The situation. The news. Reality.

In the morning you left
You disappeared with the wind
You left a warm spot on the bed
I sat in it and held my knees

I had a friend kill a spider for me
because I felt too weak